Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize