idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
