Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
