I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
