After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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