Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
