just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
