GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
