look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
