WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
