Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Im part way to drunk.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
