Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
