it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
