Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
