so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
