he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
drinking out of a sandbucket again
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
