In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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