What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my phone needs a breathalizer
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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