He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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