Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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