My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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