normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
