doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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