Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
