You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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