there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
