i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
