this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
