I hope mine doesn't look like that
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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