he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
