I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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