The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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