Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He did a backflip because drugs
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