i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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