Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
