So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
