It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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