Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
