when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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