Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
