I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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