Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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