; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
