if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
