The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
