i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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