Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
