Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
