Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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