i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
