This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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